What is a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony?
Based on the Navajo tradition called a Blessingway, a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony is a celebration of the mother-to-be’s transition into her new role. Typically, the women closest to the new mother are invited over to come together and wish blessings onto the mother. Words of wisdom and well wishes are accompanied with traditional ceremony. Below, I will outline what different aspects of the ceremony can look like: just remember that no two ceremonies will look the same; the event is customized to the mother’s liking.
Guest List and Location: Think about the important women in your life. Invite the women who encourage you and lift you up. This could be your mother, friends, aunts, cousins, doula, midwife, etc. Next, consider location. Most ceremonies are held at the mother’s home, but you can have it anywhere you please!
Food: I recommend having finger foods instead of a large meal at a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony. However, the food served should be something that the mother-to-be wants! Another idea I like is to have your guests bring a meal that can be frozen, so that after the birth the mother has a stocked fridge!
Preparing the Space: Before the ceremony begins, I go through with sage to bless and cleanse the space from any negative energy. You can diffuse essential oils, play peaceful music, light candles or hang lights to set the mood.
As Guests Arrive: As your guests arrive, you can ask them to remove their shoes so as to keep the space sacred, and keep them grounded in the intention of the event. Another popular idea is to have a bowl of rose water so guests can rid their hands of any burden and enter with love and support for the new mother.
Statement of Intention: A good way to mark the start of the ceremony is to make an announcement that states the purpose and intention that the event holds. This can be completely improvised, or you can have the host read something like: '“Today we are here to gather around (Mother’s Name) with love and gratitude. We wish to let her know how special she is to all of us, and how ready we are to meet her child. We intend to prepare (Mother’s Name), by giving her support, strength and clarity for herself, her birth, and her baby.”
Flower Crown: A flower crown is placed on the mother’s head for her to wear throughout the ceremony. The crown works to not only celebrate her beauty, but also to mark that she is the reason of the celebration. The flower crown can be bought, handmade, or weaved together at the ceremony. It can also be dried and kept as a keepsake.
Birth Affirmations: Birth affirmations are commonly used by laboring women to remind them of their strength and encourage them to keep going. Each woman can write down an affirmation on a card, decorate it, and give it to the mother so she can have it during her labor.
Beading Ceremony: Another activity that creates a visual for the mother to have during labor. Each guest brings a bead (or the host can provide beads), in which they speak their blessing into. All the beads are strung together into a bracelet/necklace for the mother to wear as a reminder of the support that surrounds her.
Pampering the Mother: This part of the ceremony can look hundreds of different ways. Some people massage and wash the feet of the mother. Some mothers will open gifts, belly painting or henna is a common practice as well. You can braid the mothers hair, do a face mask, or whatever you feel would make the mother feel the most pampered.
Candles: Labor candles are perhaps my favorite tradition for a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony. Everyone receives a candle, including the mother. The guests hold their candle and speak kind words, blessings, and well wishes to the mother. When the mother goes into labor, all the women (including the mother) will light their candle and keep it burning until the birth. This signifies that the mother is not alone and serves as a reminder that she has many people all over thinking of her during her laboring.
Yarn Bracelet: To close out the Mother’s Blessing Ceremony, it is common practice to do the Red Thread Ritual. This can be done with yarn or thread. Everyone gathers in a circle and each guest wraps the yarn around her wrist and passes it to the next, who does the same. The thread connects all women in a circle. When they're apart, the mother stands alone with her own strength, but knows she has the support of her loved ones as she starts her journey into motherhood. Everyone is asked to wear the red bracelet until we get news of the baby's birth. Then the bracelet is taken off with good intentions or a loving prayer. Some even extend thee bracelet wearing as a reminder to support the mother postpartum; the bracelet can only be removed after you have helped the mother after the birth.
The Difference: Baby Shower or Blessing Ceremony?
The biggest difference between a Mother’s Blessing and a Baby Shower is who they are celebrating. A baby shower is focused on the baby on the way, whereas a blessing ceremony is centered on supporting the mother-to-be. And yes, you can have both! You can have a baby shower to receive gifts that are needed for your new arrival, and also have a mother’s blessing to prepare and pamper the mother to be.
